5 Most Common Traits that Hold People Back

What, from my perspective holds people back from their potential?

My name is Kru Nick Bautista, owner of Brampton Muay Thai, and Brampton Chiropractic & Sports Therapy.  I have two basic jobs; build Martial Artists, and Build Doctors.  The overarching goal of my company is about helping people.  We do so in a direct, and indirect way.  From a direct perspective, I train people in the Martial Art of Muay Thai, thereby affecting their technique and physique; in an indirect way I help heal patients by putting doctors in a position to do so.  You can say that I am in a growth industry.  I train people to grow physically, and I find doctors who facilitate their patients growth.

So when Mike Zhang asked me to produce an article about why people fail to grow, I was happy to oblige.  The following, is from my experience and observation, why people fail to grow physically and/or heal from their ailments:

 

Lack of Vision.  

Some people are drowning in the water, and some are mountain climbers.  The drowning swimmers are immersed in stress.  They don’t know down from up, left from right, and they tend to pull people down with them because they simply have no direction in life.  The mountain climbers have a very clear direction; UP.  There is no confusion between progress, and regress.  When we do not have a vision, we do not have a destination.  And when we lack a destination, we cannot tell the difference between progress and regress and will often confuse the two for one another.  My father always told me, ‘Work yourself backwards’.  Start with envisioning what you want, then plan the steps to get there backwards.  Planning backwards will allow you to ensure that every step you take is a relevant one.  Start with your vision, and let the vision dictate the steps.  Don’t just start taking steps assuming it will lead to a destination you want.  How can you want something you cannot envision?  Always see where you are going and work towards what you see.  Make sure the vision is yours not a vision someone implanted in you.  When you work towards your vision, this is when you truly start to feel pride.

Lip Service.  

There are two types of accomplishments:  authentic ones, and synthetic ones.  Authentic accomplishments are accomplishments that yield pride.  You achieve first, then the feeling you have when you reflect on your achievement is a positive feeling (also known as pride—you are proud of your work).  The synthetic kind, is the pride you feel, without accomplishing anything.  It is synthetic, because it doesn’t last very long and doesn’t build any real confidence.  Just a false sense of pride.  Sometimes talking to people about our ambition feels good.  It feels good because someone calls us ‘ambitious’.  However, this is only a temporary feeling because we have not accomplished anything, yet we are celebrating because of a perception we have manufactured to someone else, about us.  Never confuse synthetic accomplishments for authentic ones and never settle for it either.  Somewhere in you there must be a belief that by being alive you therefore have the ability to achieve.  Give yourself the pride you seek by accomplishing what you set out to do.

Weak willed.  

My teacher always told me, ‘you have to learn how to take a hit, but also take the heat’.  What he meant was that taking a hit is part of the game, but what represents most of the game is the constant stress and pressure, the ‘heat’.  Some people wait to feel good to do good.  But the ones truly focused on their goals are the ones who don’t need to feel good to be great.  Simply because they understand that emotions are temporary things.  They pass.  If we let our progress be dictated by our mood, then regress will be a consequence of progress. The nature of emotions is temperamental at best.  Being strong willed is simply a matter of choosing one’s mindset, versus being dictated by it.  Think—does a good parent forfeit their roles and responsibilities as a parent when parenthood gets tough (baby crying at the grocery store)? A good parent’s will to yield a good child supercedes their present discomfort.  They keep the destination in mind, during hard times.  Those whose actual level of commitment to their destination is weak, will fold at the first sign of trouble.  It is not the stress that matters, but rather your reaction to the stressor.  And our reaction to stressors in life is largely determined by our sense of will.

Weak Leaders.  

We all have an ‘ethos’.  A ‘life philosophy’ in which one lives by, and each of these philosophies carries principles that shape how one makes their decisions.  Teachers and leaders will inescapably teach with a bias—the information they teach you will always be coloured by their personal life philosophy and belief structure.  With that said, as a student you must have a very sharp mind.  You should be able to keep your destination in mind while learning and be able to ask yourself if the information you are learning will lead to the destination you seek.  Personally, I only listen to teachers who live the life I seek to have.  That’s when I can trust and accept their lessons wholeheartedly.  I can’t listen to teachers whose life are in shambles.  Why would I listen to someone’s information, if it lead them to a destination I want no part of?  Too many times I see teachers and leaders teaching information that only lead to unhappiness in their own lives.  They are so unhappy, that they cannot see the connection between their belief structures and life result.  I stay away from these people, and I think you should too.  Do not learn, for learning’s sake.  I learn, for destination’s sake.  I learn to achieve, and to get somewhere.  That means that the people I listen to have been where I intend to go, or better yet have been further.  

Fear.  

‘Fear’, for all intents and purposes stands for ‘False Evidence Altering Reality’.  Fear tends to produce false premises that yield fractured views of the world.  When we are scared, we automatically accept false premises (without even realizing it) that ultimately stunts progress.  Our fear, welcomes the objection to move forward simply because our minds have subscribed to the illusion that it is safer to stay put, than it is to move forward.  So when you are afraid to do something, challenge the premises that you have ignorantly accepted.  Challenge the reasons to stay put with stronger reasons to move forward.  Challenge them by educating yourself with people who have beaten the battles you fear.  Once you have replaced that false evidence with stronger evidence, you will find that your fear subsides.  If you have learned properly from the right sources, what was once fear is replaced with skill.

 

Kru Nick Bautista is the owner of Brampton Muay Thai, and Brampton Chiropractic & Sports Therapy.  He has two basic jobs; build Martial Artists, and Build Doctors.  The overarching goal of his company is about helping people.  He does so in a direct, and indirect way.  From a direct perspective, he trains people in the Martial Art of Muay Thai, thereby affecting their technique and physique; in an indirect way he helps heal patients by putting doctors in a position to do so.  His speciality is the growth industry.  He trains people to grow physically, and he finds doctors who facilitate their patients growth.